The Shepherd, November 2006
The Tale of a Lazy Parent, 3
This age is also when the “deep theological questions” usually start: What is Father doing with that funny candlestick? Why is he washing his hands? Why is he holding up that piece of bread? For the parent, this is when the “real” work of teaching the Faith begins! Encourage your child to ask you, your spouse, and his godparents questions quietly during the service, and whisper an answer as he’s watching the service progress, if possible. If you don’t know an answer, make a point to say, “I don’t know. We’ll ask Father at coffee hour. You remind me, okay?”
As a parent, you’ll need to be prepared for a non-stop deluge of questions. Read up on the history and symbolism of the services your parish offers regularly: the Divine Liturgy at minimum, and Vespers, Matins, Hours, the wedding service, and Baptism/Chrismation as you are able. Take a few minutes to look up the events being celebrated in an upcoming feast, and look at the icon as a “story book” before going to the church. There are many excellent resources for these, including articles in your parish bulletin and Orthodox Family Life.
Kindergarteners — As soon as your child is able to recognize words on a page (even by memory, instead of actually reading), have him follow along with the service in your parish’s adult service book. Ask him to keep track of the “Lord, have mercy”s for you as he sings, and to let you know when it’s time for the Gospel or Our Father. This is a wonderful way to keep him involved and interested, and to really illustrate the point that we are all working together in the services: we all follow the same “script”, just like our grandparents, and their grandparents, and even St. Nicholas (or his/her patron saint) did!
Encouraging questions has worked for our family, I’m happy to say: our daughter Katie now points out changes in vestment color (along with her theory as to what the new color means), and offers her explanation of why something is happening if she hasn’t seen it before (in her memory). For example, on Holy Friday she told me as the plaschanitsa (or ‘winding sheet’) was taken on procession, “See, Father is carrying Jesus around and around, and putting Him in Joseph’s tomb,” and when we approached to venerate His body, “There’s a cloth over His face now. Don’t lift it, because He’s dead. That’s his mummy-cloth.” She has been listening!
The most difficult “unlearning” task we faced personally (and are still working on) was teaching our daughter how to stand for prayer. She was used to sitting while we stood, because we allowed her to as a toddler, and praised her when she was still and quiet. We started teaching her to stand last year by reminding her to stand during entrances, the Gospel, the Cherubic Hymn, the Creed and Our Father, and the Anaphora, and then encouraged her to stand “with the big people” for more and more of the service. Occasionally, she will stand for a whole service now, but most of the time she gets tired and sits for a few minutes at a time. We don’t force her, but continue to remind her when a “time to stand” comes along. Sometimes, she gets right up without missing a beat, but other times it’s, “Oh, Mom!” I just know I’ll be happy when she stands all the time, because I get light-headed turning around and bending over to answer her questions!
Back on the Right Track
We’ve gotten back on the right track, I think, in teaching our daughter that the Church’s services are for worship and learning about God together, not for reading and drawing on your own. It is a gradual process, and we still suffer setbacks from time to time: standing with a good friend, socializing is more appealing than praying; near a group of younger children, coloring or “babysitting” are enticing. But we keep reminding…
Don’t give up on your own efforts to draw your child — whatever his or her age — into the worshipping community of the Church. It is worth it!
|
