The Shepherd, September 2008
THE RELIGIOUS UPBRINGING OF CHILDREN
By Archpriest S. Shchukin
WHEN IS IT NECESSARY TO START
THE UP-BRINGING OF AN INFANT?
EVEN if everyone is agreed on the necessity of bringing up children, there is nonetheless considerable disagreement about when this education should begin. The biggest mistake that parents make is that they often think that the education of their child should wait until a “convenient time.” Many parents consider that, after coming into this world, for a long time the child only needs physical care. They regard him as if he were some sort of kitten whose eyes had not yet opened, as if he did not require any spiritual formation. Very many young parents consider that until he is two or three years old an infant does not require any special upbringing, because his mind has not yet matured enough to understand moral or religious precepts.
Such an approach is deeply flawed, and runs contrary both to science and to Christian teaching. Science, or rather psychology, teaches us that an infant needs to be educated from the very day of his birth. According to the felicitous comparison of one academic, the soul of a child is like a sentient cine film which unremittingly records every impression made upon it. The infant lies in his cradle, but his soul is assimilating impressions, drawn not only from every sound, but from every sight, from the tone of a voice, even from the emotional disposition of his mother and those near. From these impressions, unbeknown to his reason (academics would call this subconscious reception), the soul of the child is, as it were, woven; and all that he receives, day after day, enters into the weave of that soul, into his personality, and thereafter it is impossible that any force could tear these impressions from out of his soul.
Besides which, contemporary psychology has come to the conclusion that these subconscious impressions play an enormous rôle in the emotional life of a person; and the very first, childhood, impressions are particularly important, for it is found that they have a great influence on the subsequent development of the inner life of that person. For instance, a whole range of emotional disorders in adults may be explained by unhealthy impressions received in the earliest infancy. This is why parents must bear in mind that it is with the utmost care that they should make the first impressions upon their child, never forgetting that from his birth itself not only is the body being formed, but also the soul.
The Christian religion also addresses this. In the Gospel we have the following words about children: “and they brought young children to Him, that He should touch them; and His disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not; for of such is the Kingdom of God.… And He took them up in His arms, put His hands upon them, and blessed them” (Mark 10:13-16). Let us pay attention to this: the children did not come up to Christ, they were brought to Christ. It is evident that, through their lack of experience, the disciples, like many parents today, thought that such little children would gain nothing from the Teacher, that they would only waste His valuable time and interrupt His converse with the grown-ups.
How did the Saviour respond to this? We read that He was much displeased with them; and we know that the meek Christ was displeased only on those occasions when that which was right and true was suppressed by something erroneous, for example, by the hypocrisy of the Pharisees, or by the defiling of the Temple by the money-changers, and so on. And He said to the disciples: “Suffer the little children… for of such is the Kingdom of God.” In other words, He gave His disciples to understand that little children are more able than adults to accept His teaching, for their pure, sinless souls are especially responsive to the Saviour’s love and holiness. For this reason Christ embraced them and blessed them.
From this it is clear that Christ considered that religious education is needed from the very earliest years. The Gospel teaches that our spiritual being is the very first foundation of our personality, and therefore it is necessary that the child’s soul develop under the influence of spiritual impressions. The spiritual involvement of the Church in this is expressed in a whole raft of rites and occasions, bound up with children. From the very day of a birth, the Orthodox Church accompanies the mother with special prayers: on the day of the birth itself, on the eighth day (when the baby is named), and on the fortieth at the churching. In these prayers, the Church prays for the spiritual and physical health of the mother and the child, and for their sanctification from on high.
After the Baptism, the Church enjoins that the child should receive Communion frequently, that he be brought to church, that prayers be said for him both at church and at home. For people who do not have a churchly understanding, all these rites appears to be some sort of superstitious practice, because they consider that the infant is as yet unable to gain anything from them. But it is precisely in this, that she considers the infant to be a spiritual being needing spiritual nourishment from the very cradle, that the Church manifests her spiritual wisdom.
And so, those parents who postpone the religious upbringing of their infants, and thus waste valuable time, are profoundly in error. And those who, regardless of the fact that they are scoffed at and mocked, follow the precepts of the Church are completely right. They understand that the performance of these Orthodox rites is a manifestation of the highest degree of that parental love, which is concerned not only about the body, but also about the soul of their infant. Can we judge the Orthodox mother, who signs her baby son with the Cross before sleep, or who, without considering herself, holds him in her arms throughout a long church service, or who prays in the evening over her infant’s cot? In all this her profound concern for the proper up-bringing of her child is shown, as was indeed expressed in the poetic verses of our poet Khomyakov:
In a deep midnight hour,
My baby, I would come to look upon you,
I would love to sign you with the Cross,
to pray that Grace would be upon you,
the love of the almighty God.
… to be continued in the next issue with
“The Battle with A Child’s Bad Inclinations”
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