The Shepherd, July 2007
I have written this, not to prevent anyone from renouncing the world and not to make anyone prefer life in the world to silence, but to assure all who read these writings that a man who wishes to act rightly receives from God the power to act, no matter where he is — whether in the world or in a silent retreat. On the contrary, the tale I have related should inspire an even greater desire for retiring from the world. But if a man living in the world and never thinking of renouncing the world or possessions, or of obedience, has received such mercy from God only because he believed and called to Him with his whole soul, then what blessings are in store for those who, renouncing the whole world and all men, give up their very life unto death for the sake of God’s commandment, as He has ordained? Moreover, if any man starts to act rightly with unshaken faith and great zeal, and begins to experience the profit which comes from it, he will by himself realize that worldly cares, and living and moving in the world, are a great obstacle to those who wish to live in God. As we have said, what happened to this youth is something marvellous and extraordinary; and we have heard of no other case like it. But if such a thing has happened or happens to anyone else, they should know that if they do not abandon the world, they will soon lose what they have received.
About this youth I later learned from him the following. I met him when he was already a monk, three or four years after he had taken monastic vows. He was then thirty-two. I knew him very well: we had been friends from childhood and were brought up together. So he told me the following. “A few days after this miraculous vision and the change that happened in me, I was assailed by many worldly temptations so that I saw myself gradually losing this blessing through them when performing my secret works of God. So I conceived a strong desire to abandon the world and in solitude to seek Christ Who had appeared to me. For I believe, brother, that He deigned to appear to me in order to take me to Himself, unworthy as I am, separating me from the whole world. But since I was unable to do this at once, I gradually forgot everything I told you about and fell into utter darkness and insensibility, no longer remembering anything I related to you, either big or small, remembering not even the slightest movement of thought or feeling. Upon which I was plunged into evils greater than before and ended in such a state, as if I had never heard the words of Christ, or understood them. Even the saint who had been so kind to me, and had given me that small rule and the book of St. Mark’s, became for me one of the people one has met accidentally, for I no longer thought of what I had seen concerning him. — I am telling you all this in detail,” he continued, “so that you should realize the depths of perdition into which I, an impious wretch, fell, through my negligence, and that you should be filled with wonder at the ineffable mercy shown me later by God. I cannot tell you how it happened that, unknown to myself, love and belief in that saintly elder had remained in my poor heart, but I think that, for the sake of this love and belief, God in His loving kindness listened to his prayers and, even after this long time, had mercy on me and, again through him, drew me out of prelest and dragged me up from the depths of evil. Unworthy as I am, I did not completely break with the elder, but when in town, frequently called on him in his cell, and confessed to him all that was happening to me, although I shamelessly neglected to follow any of his precepts. But now, as you see, the merciful God has overlooked the multitude of my sins and, through this same elder, has arranged for me to become a monk, allowing me to be constantly with him, truly unworthy as I am. After great labours and copious tears, with the strictest withdrawal and retirement from the world, total obedience and renunciation of my will, many other acts and methods of rigorous self-mortification and an irresistible yearning for all that is good, I was once more granted although somewhat darkly, the vision of a small ray of this most sweet Divine Light. But even to this day I have never been given to see again the vision I had before.”
This and many other things he told me with tears. And I, poor man, while listening to these holy words thought that he was wholly filled with Divine Grace and was wise, despite his not having studied external wisdom. Drawing his knowledge from practice and experience, he had acquired the most subtle understanding of spiritual things. Therefore I asked him to tell me what kind of faith it was that could produce such marvellous phenomena, and to expound it to me in writing, like a teacher. He immediately began to tell me of this, and readily wrote down what he said. Not to make the present chapter too long, I shall relate elsewhere what he said, for the enjoyment and delight of those who like to read such writings with faith.
So, I beg you, brethren, let us also proceed with zeal on the way of Christ’s commandments — and our faces will not be covered with shame. Let us be like those who knock patiently and to whom the Lord opens the doors of His kingdom, according to His promise, and like those who seek and are given the Holy Spirit. It is impossible for a man, who seeks with all his soul, not to find Him and be enriched by His gifts. So will you indubitably receive His Divine blessings, prepared by Him for those who love Him — partly here, as spiritual wisdom will show, and wholly in the life to come, in company with the saints of all ages, in Jesus Christ our Lord, to Whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
* The second half of this psalmic verse as given by St Simeon does not correspond with that in the Psalter itself.
** St. Symeon lived in the latter part of the 10th century.
Taken, with very slight alterations, from
“Writings from the Philokalia: on Prayer of the Heart,”
translated by E. Kadloubovsky and G. E. H. Palmer
(London: Faber & Faber Ltd, 1951), pp. 143-152.
Editor’s Note: G. E. H. Palmer was for many years a parishioner at the Convent of the Annunciation, Willesden, London NW6. His grave is in the churchyard of the village of Chieveley, West Berkshire. He was always known as Gerald, but his Orthodox Christian name was George. May his rest be with the Saints. 
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